DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING are the three most stressful experiences in
There are two very different kinds of needs that people have while moving. First there
are the transactional needs, like finding the home that is just right for you, finding a
seller who is realistic, negotiating the price, filling out the paperwork, handling the
escrow, and arranging for the move. But there are also emotional needs that are involved
when moving, and this is where the biggest stress comes in.
Any competent agent will handle the transactional needs for you, but if your emotional
needs are unfulfilled, youll be frustrated and may not act in your own best
interests. The ideal real estate agent is one, who is competent with paperwork and
numbers, but can also guide, direct, and counsel you through the emotional ups and downs
of moving. Here are the some of the best ways to beat the stress.
1. Begin with the end in mind. Have an ultimate
scenario of where youre trying to be. What will life be like when you get there? How
will it be better than where you are now? Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill up
at least a page about how it feels in the new place. This is imperative. Having the goal
in front of you at all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and
frustrations. Emotions will run high and you need an anchor. In childbirth, the Lamaze
method teaches you to focus on one spot when enduring labor pains. You too must focus on
that future goal when anxiety threatens to get the better of you.
2. Be flexible. In your monetary calculations,
overestimate by a thousand dollars. In this market, anything can happen between contract
acceptance and closing. It could be the inspections reveal areas of concern that the
seller is unwilling to fix or the repair costs are higher than the amount limited in the
contract. Or the interest rate changes which affects the necessary down payment and
closing costs you will need to come up with. As your real estate team, we will strive to
tie up loose ends as quickly as possible, but remember there is no perfect world. Most
buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking on a new mortgage and the responsibilities of a
new home and weve seen many buyers get angry when it seems like the cost just keeps
going up. Anger is caused when reality doesnt match up with the expectations you had
in your mind. So if you anticipate this happening in advance, you wont get angry. In
fact, itll probably go better than you expected.
3. Trust in the process. Theres just so
much to do, its easy to panic. You wonder if it will ever work out. In fact, when we
bought our house, we couldnt eat for a day, we felt sick to our stomachs! You think
youre taking a big chance, but the truth is youre giving yourself a big
chance. Even though you cant see every step of the way, as you move towards your
goals, the way opens up. We know that you havent moved in a long time and its
a major upheaval in your life. But weve been there many times before, and well
be looking out for you. Trust that we know the way to get you there.
4. Get knowledge. One thing youll
probably feel during this transition time is being out of control. It feels like everyone
else has taken over your life. The seller, your lender, the appraiser, the inspectors,
they all have the power to say yes or no to your moving plans. Well try our best to
let you know ahead of time what your expenses will be, and what the unknowns are.
Well tie down the loose ends as soon as possible. Well try to get your loan
approved within a reasonable time frame. Well educate you as best we can and let you
in "behind the scenes" so you wont ever out of control.
5. What is your option? When things dont
go as smoothly as you had hoped, dont let emotions take over. Always ask yourself
"What is my option?" because there are always options. Lets pretend the
lender takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan. He keeps asking you for more and
more documentation until if feels like he also needs to know how many gold fillings you
have in your mouth! Youll feel upset because you wanted to feel certain about the
move and now you still have to live with the uncertainty. You want to say "Forget it,
Im fed up with this!" But what is your option? Find a new lender and start the
process over again? That may take weeks, plus you will have to provide all the paperwork
over again. If the lender is trying his best, it may be better to give him a few more
days. Each case is unique, but when setbacks occur weve found that asking yourself
this question helps to defuse the situation and restore clear headed thinking.
6. Seek entertainment. When theres
nothing you can do about the situation, take your mind off of it altogether. Maybe you
expected loan approval on Friday, but now it wont come until Monday. You hate being
in limbo and feeling powerless. So do something else entirely, maybe something where you
arent powerless. Take a hike, play tennis, get out of town for the day. Watch a
movie, pray, or pour yourself into your work. Whatever diversion works best for you, now
would be a good time to engage in it. Just forget the situation and refuse to listen to
those irritating thoughts when they come into your head. Think about something else
instead and just take it one day at a time.